I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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