Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
