This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
