How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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