he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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