I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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