THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
