last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
