nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
