god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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