i will never coherently bang her
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
