I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize
