That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
