he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
