That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
