Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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