I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
