problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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