Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
