hell yes lets make some ravioli
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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