apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
