I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
