So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
