We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
