the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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