Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
