M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
