Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
