I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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