help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
