ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
