so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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