i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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