we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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