He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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