so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This is classic penis vs brain.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
