scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
