dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
