oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
