I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
