too bad you live with your parents still
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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