Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i would one night stand the shit outta him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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