am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
