When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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