I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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