I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
