what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
