Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
