This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
