JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
