Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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