I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
