Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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