Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
