just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
